Long ago, in a galaxy far far away... extraterrestrials enjoyed German art songs. At some point in history, some presumptuous reporter interpreted their demands with incorrect spelling and totally messed up their reputation. All they care about is classical music, really.

Late one night, Robert Schumann was composing in his living room when he heard a startling knock at the door. He opened it to find the legendary music-thieving alien on his doorstep, with a gun trained on him! Schumann dropped his pen in shock and managed to squeak out, "What do you w-want?" The greedy alien peered past the composer into the candle-lit room strewn with inky manuscripts and grunted, "Take me to your lieder."

He could have stood to learn a few things from his collar bone...

Why didn't Bach's collar bone fight back when his ribs started calling it names?

Because Bach had a well tempered clavicle.



http://blogcritics.org/music/article/q-how-bad-was-johann-sebastian/

No comment.

Why don't sea turtles like underwater concerts featuring musical instruments made from seaweed?

They can't stand kelptic music.

I'll bet they had drumsticks and rolls at their wedding reception.

Did you hear about the percussionist who proposed to his future wife? He gave her a very large, inverted brass plate instead of a ring as a cymbal of his affection.

-Submitted by Austen (who heard it from her worship pastor)

Why not contribute some of your own music humor? You can't do worse than this...

What did the cop say to the underage, sneaky anacrusis?

"Back away from the bar line."


What did the cop say to the bagpipes who were disturbing the peace?

"You have the right to remain tacet."


What did the cop say to the misplaced figured bass?

"You're under a rest!"

You either love him or you haven't heard of him or you... I don't know what.

This is for all y'all who haven't heard of Tim Hawkins. If that's true of you... join the dark side. We've got... sore abs.

David can make music puns too!

"Sol fa knee....so fu nny....so funny."

Pictures Postponed

 What was Snow White inspired to sing after she took the seven dwarfs to have family portraits taken and Dopey promised to send her some, but she waited and waited and they still hadn't arrived yet?

"Someday, my prints will come . . ."

Notes on the piano, part 3

Presenting the third installment of the college ridiculousness of my eldest brother: A Common Man's Guide to the Piano.

(In case you missed the previous two, they can be found here and here.)

A few words from the eldest brother, part 2

If you enjoyed reading Ludwig van Wild Hair does Q &A, you will probably like this, another piece from his college years: Reflections, by The Immortal Pianist.

In case you ever wondered if any roam the earth more ridiculous than I...

My oldest brother, Jonathan, is and was quite the classical music enthusiast when he was my age. He has shared with me some things he wrote when he was in college... I think "humorous" might be the biggest understatement one could make in such a case as this. Jonathan went to school for computer science, but enjoys classical music as much as (or more than) the rest of us music major nuts.

Here is the first: Ludwig van Wild Hair does Q & A

P.S. This is much funnier than "Mrs. Johnson warms up Spencer for his voice lesson," in my opinion. You should read it.

If you haven't met Herman... it's time.

I love solfege...

 I'm going to get rich selling this to musicians: Ray's Supertonic

Do four crunches a day - it's good FA your subdominals.

Where are you if you fall down a hole into the aeolian mode? In la-la land!

What do you call a bird so featherbrained it only knows one note? A dodo bird.

What do you call a dorian dessert? A la mode.

How do you spell "Distracting"?

M-U-S-I-C M-A-J-O-R-S I-N T-H-E C-O-M-P-U-T-E-R L-A-B

Another musical disease

What have you got if you're obsessed with Mahler's symphonies?

Mahleria.

(I didn't make this pun up; it was on a youtube video.)

Sometimes, I'd just rather not know what goes on in the other room during my horn lesson.

What you see here is the direct result of a 40 minute gap (well, except for me and my horn lesson) between Conducting and Aural Skills IV for us sophomores who live in the Psalm annex all T/R mornings. This was the last day of class... and yes, we did spend the entire class up there. Four nutty music majors. Mr. Griffiths (that's him back there) was impressed. "Generally, when students do stuff like that, it's all just stuff I've already done - except I did it way cooler and 20 years ago. This is an exception."

A REAL bad hair day...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StBe3m4gI2g&feature=related

And a surprise for a violist...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvMeW1_4Ejo&feature=grec_index

(Second video rumored to have been originally found by Bryce)

A G6 spelled differently:

"Jirmun sikth"

The Cyber Conductor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFltd2838gc&feature=player_embedded

O Come, Lettuce A-door Hymn

Contributed by David.